Ah, Jamaica! Picture the bright blue sky contrasted by lush green mountains, clear waters cascading down rivers towards white sand beaches… and mushrooms?
I stepped away from the hustle and bustle to partake in a psilocybin mushroom Jamaican retreat in Ocho Rios. What started out as an exploration beneath topside trees soon revealed itself to be much more than a mere mushroom trip – it was an invitation into an insightfully profound realm of self discovery, growth, lifelong lessons and majestic mother nature.
Little did I know how much this hidden corner of paradise would challenge my body, mind and spirit in such a profound way – but let me tell you all about it…
Mycelia, which provides legal psilocybin-assisted therapy retreats, miraculously discovered a special place near the White River. Our group of six were able to partake in an incredible mushroom tea ceremony that aided us in healing our anxieties and dealing with suicidal thoughts.
It enabled some of us to detach ourselves from being trapped within a mundane corporate lifestyle driven by ambition, while I specifically was able to reconnect with nature, deal with my workaholism, and cut down on my nicotine vaping habit.
But let’s start with day 1…
Yoga, Massage, Intentions & 0.5g of Sacred Sun
The day before our medicinal dose, after a yoga session, intention-setting, and massage therapy, it was time to observe how each individual would respond to our guide’s personal strain of psilocybin mushrooms called the Sacred Sun.
In order to assess everyone’s reaction, we all ingested 0.5g of psilocybin-infused chocolate. Our guides carefully noted our reactions in order to gauge what dosage may be suitable for us for D day and to assess who may need more support.
That night, we were organized and ready. Each of us eagerly grabbed a journal, feeling the urge to set our intentions and give them energy. Some felt more comfortable speaking theirs out into the night sky and share them with the rest of the group, while others chose to silently scribble them away in their journals.
Either way, there was a sense of unity throughout the group accompanied by a beaming feeling of clarity and purpose before Slumber time rolled around underneath the stars. We went off to bed with our goals set and hearts open, eager for what tomorrow could bring.
What did I write in my journal, you may ask? I was accepting that I was winding myself up in a frenzy of workaholism, thinking that by single-mindedly dedicating my life to work that will help destigmatize psychedelics and help people, I could contribute to something greater than myself. Little did I realize that this process would only serve to damage me – mentally, physically and spiritually. In a strange twist of fate reminiscent of an ironic movie plot line; here I am attempting to help people while simultaneously ignoring my own health.
The Day of the Medicinal Dose
Our day of medicinal dose began with yoga sessions that had us setting our intentions and feeling ready to embark on our Jungle Therapy. As we took a majestic walk along the White River, each of us were given a generous 1g dose of psilocybin mushrooms.
We eventually found ourselves in a special ceremony circle that was situated on a breathtaking spot along by the river. There, our guides and facilitators happily awaited, preparing cups of 2.5g medicinal tea.
Our facilitator Devon made us do the strangest things to our psilocybin mushroom tea – we were instructed to talk to mushrooms, hold the cup of tea near our hearts and focus on the intentions we had for the journey.
In my case, that wasn’t an easy task as I changed my mind about 5 times before finally settling on a fairly ambitious prayer: I asked of the fungi lords to have mercy on me in granting me a safe and pleasant experience, help me reconnect with nature and myself, release me from my ambitions-made prison, and lastly to help me break or at least reduce my nicotine consumption.
Already I could feel something powerful hammering away inside the ancient walls of my heart – could it have been the mushroom strain in my system? Most probably.
The Medicinal Dose Experience
First 30 minutes of the psychedelic experience
Experiencing nature as a psilonaut is an altogether different experience. Somehow those little mushrooms seem to have the power to fine-tune your senses, like you’ve stepped into nature in technicolor – every sound and sight enhanced. Every time I breathed in it felt like the music of life around me was calling out to my soul; birds chirping louder and clearer, the breeze brushing more insistently against my face. It felt like Mother Nature had suddenly been gifted with a PA system and turned it up—everything so much more vivid, powerful and alive.
Everywhere I looked, color was exploding – lush green canopies kissing steel railings in a beautiful blend of hues while cobblestones were speckled with pastel morphs. Beams of light beamed down onto the streets and mixed with dust to create an awe-inspiring sky that seemed almost out of this world. The feeling was omnipotent; it felt as if anything could happen here!
The Fireflies Show
Now, how do I describe the next part? Imagine stepping into this overwhelming, mesmeric jungle – not on shrooms. Vividly colored fireflies filling the air, twinkling softly like stars; bioluminescent trees illuminated the area nearby and crystal clear water, with a sparkle of enchantment. Now imagine this on shrooms.
Yes – it sounds like an Avatar scene, right?
As I gazed upon this strange and beautiful landscape of lush trees and glittering river, I felt awash in a kind of Disney-like dreamscape. A drooping tree branch hanging over the river began to take a life of its own. Weaving between the vibrant fireflies that swirled around us, it seemed to pulsate with an energy beyond its physical form. For what felt like hours but was surely only minutes, we conversed about the deeper meaning of life in this special moment together.
The water whispered endless stories to us, tales of everything it had ever seen. Above this felt symphony twinkled fairy lights hued from healthy queendoms of nature – fireflies serenely illuminating the sky in a cascading light show worthy of interplanetary adoration.
An otherworldly experience before taking psychedelic mushrooms, but transcending reality beyond explanation once they lingered in my system.
3 hours into the psychedelic experience
Nature truly spoke to me like I was in the presence of a wise old sage. Every leaf seemed to take a single breath and it reverberated through the wilderness.
Then I saw spiders, reminiscent of Aragog in Harry Potter, approach me. For any normal person, that would mean running for your life – but being true to my stubborn self, I stayed right where I was and asked them what they wanted inside my head.
It took some meditation on my part before I could fully comprehend what message these dark creatures were trying to convey: That I had been feeling trapped; trapped within the four walls of an office, restricted by physical confines, relying too much on my brain and not enough on my heart.
My intentions of reconnecting with nature and busting through the cemented heart of mines were working.
Like an onion, I shed layers of social and personal restrictions. All layers had different colors representing a life event that had the profound effect of teaching me to only rely on logic and disregard that heart of mine.
Expressing personal emotions, fears and trauma has never been my forte. I’ve always been the type of person to deal what grievances internally and move on, or putting them into a mental apartment box until I have the time to unlock it or until and I’m ready to see what’s inside.
Despite being able to navigate my pains, trauma, and grievances internally, I found it difficult to open up about them with the people closest to me. So I decided that I needed a change; if only for myself. To free the emotions within me, I ventured into a corner of my mind where these long forgotten memories shaped who I am today and decided to rewind them like a VCR tape so I can locate the mementos that “medusaed” my heart. Watching these life events was definitely liberating and quite amusing. It gave me such mental clarity – it’s impossible to put into words.
4 hours into our psychedelic journey – the bonfire experience
The fungal lords had left us altered in a way no one could have expected, circling a bonfire that our trusting facilitators had built for us. As I looked closer at each flame, I saw the full story: the wood’s particles floating and dancing, lending to us its heat and vitality.
Gazing up past the roaring fire towards the trees, I saw splendor unlike any other; each leaf seemed to move with brilliance under the eerie moonlight, intertwining and weaving complex geometrical shapes only noticed if you believe in divine geometrics.
The night was tranquil, and we forgot reality as the moon bathed us in a hazy silver light. We stood in resplendent silence, not attempting to mask the trippy mental journeys we took.
Standing there together, buried in our own profound thoughts, we felt free and safe from the troubles of regular life. The mushrooms enabled us to understand difficult emotions better and alleviate anxiety quickly. As our tensions diminished and worries faded into obscurity, the silence embraced us welcomingly like an old friend.
Our minds reflected upon themselves wonderfully as we looked within our consciousnesses whilst savoring every second of this psychedelic experience.
Integration
The day after our session, we took the insights and emotions from your experience, discussed them and talked about how to apply them into applicable areas of our life.
Following medicinal doses, I would say, it’s necessary for people to go through a few integration sessions as a general rule.
The group of guests at the retreat affected by a litany of issues could easily have been somber, but between light conversations and bouts of laughter, it was clear that we all wanted to take in every possible moment out of this transformational experience.
One participant, Jamie, was blindsided by her discovery of just how badly she needed to heal; she stood as a reminder that sometimes we don’t even realize how much we need to focus on ourselves until it becomes undeniable.
It is no surprise that those of us who were there celebrated each success story with a nod and an understanding smile.
All in all, my key takeaway is that psychedelics help us break free from the social structure that keeps us in a perpetual state of mid-life crisis, solitude, and unfulfillment. They help us become more aware of the trichotomy of our minds, bodies, and souls. Only by tuning into our hearts’ desires can we truly be at peace with ourselves.
Did the experience help me kill the nasty vaping habit? Not entirely. However, I have reduced that habit by a good 70-75% and I’m still going through integration. What I do want to underline is that my workaholic tendencies have definitely been reduced and I am back to being more in tune with myself.
Would I go back?
Definitely yes.
