I can attest to the more meaningful connection with my child that was facilitated by using psychedelics.
Salutations cosmic travelers,
After a slew of life crises, I was able to obtain a fair amount of LSD. My influx of the mind-altering substance couldn’t have come at a better time. My marriage was falling apart. My Mom and Granny had both recently died within a few years of each other and my child being born. The house we rented had been recently sold, forcing my little family to scramble for a new place to live. I was having trouble making ends meet with my low-paying jobs and lack of formal education. And to top it all off, the coronavirus hit the world around the same time I was able to obtain this considerable amount of the enchanting wonder drug.
The Fabrications of Psychedelics
I first took LSD when I was 17 years old back in the late 1990s. The deceptive propaganda that we were told about hallucinogens back then now seems to be incorrect, given all of the recent data. I had heard rumors like, “If you eat more than ten hits you'll be considered legally insane,” “It makes your brain bleed,” which there is no evidence to suggest that LSD kills brain cells, and “if you do acid you'll be plagued with flashbacks for the rest of your life.” I can't say if that last one is true for other people, but I've never been plagued by a flashback in my life.
When I was younger, I believed some of the bad publicity about these substances, but I couldn’t understand how such a wonderful experience could be so bad for you. I usually didn’t feel bad while or after experiencing it, except for a couple of bad trips (I didn’t understand dosage in my youth), and I did quite a lot of consciousness-expanding in my teenage years and in the recent past.
Psychedelics and Well-Being
Having my child was the main catalyst for my search for a better mental state. My childhood was not always pleasant, and so I wanted to provide my daughter with a solid foundation of support that she could rely on in times of need. Someone she could look up to who can remain level-headed in difficult situations. How does one achieve this? For me, right before the virus hit and in the year I turned 40, I delved deep into yoga, calisthenics, meditation, breathing exercises, philosophies like Stoicism, journaling, and hallucinogens. It almost sounds like I had a midlife crisis. Until recently, over the past three years, I took LSD two to three times a week with half to two hits each time. The fact that I'm still pretty normal and have been able to articulate a whole book's worth of stories is a testament to the safety and help some people can get from these substances.
I am not the only one to benefit from being an avid user of the synthesized chemical from ergot and other plant medicines. Psychedelics have been shown to help with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and a slew of other health issues. They have been shown to help women with postpartum depression, allowing them to have more fulfilling and joyful relationships with their children.
I can attest to the more meaningful connection with my child that was facilitated by using psychedelics. I could have been depressed because I couldn't afford to give my child the cushy life I never had, but LSD and occasionally psilocybin, mixed with all of the other well-being activities and philosophies I had thoroughly researched over the past three years, helped me reframe how I view the world. Reframing doesn't always work, and I still become despondent, melancholy, and angry from time to time. However, with the help of the activities and substances I mentioned before, the lows are not as low and my outlook on life is better than ever—even while my life is in dire straits.
I'm not saying that mind-altering substances are for everyone. People who suffer from schizophrenia and other mental challenges may have adverse reactions to these drugs, but I believe that most of the people I've met could benefit from the ego-dissolving effects that hallucinogens seem to induce. If I hadn't dissolved my ego as much as I have in the past three years, I probably wouldn't have been able to write my memoir.
The Benefit of Psychedelics Coupled with Creativity
Journaling was yet another well-being activity that enhanced my ability to understand my feelings and life. Coupled with the use of mind-enhancing substances, it allowed me to find paths in my writing and emotions that I might not have otherwise thought of. According to the science, that is what hallucinogens do; they rewire the brain to think of things that you may not have originally considered or view them in a different light. It helps you see beyond the usual. It opens up your creativity.
In the past three years, I have focused on my writing. I wrote a nearly 130,000-word memoir and social commentary journal and another 100,000 words on various topics. Because of its unique substance and unorthodox style, I have had difficulty finding a literary agent or book publisher. Instead of waiting around, I recently started to post a few chapters and stories on the app/website Substack. My need to try to procure a better life for my child has led me to Substack as a side gig, where writers can self-publish their work and charge a subscription fee. My subscription fee is $5 per month or $50 per year, wherein I will post a few stories each month.
While I often write about the importance of hallucinogenic plant medicines, and all stories were written while on or shortly after a trip, I focus on an array of other topics such as addiction, poverty, homelessness, living paycheck-to-paycheck, emotional instability, politics, religion, history, morals, philosophy, existential threats to humanity and our society, toxic work environments, relationships, quantum physics, reality, parenting, marriage, divorce and multiple deaths.
I have lived through or eagerly thought about each of those subjects and am gradually putting my thoughts out to the world in the hope that my stories will help someone find hope or meaning, better understand a different perspective on life, find comfort in relating to them, or touch people's hearts. Although many of the stories are worded with serious subject matters, some even being cringe-worthy, you must know “bad” to appreciate “good.” You have to recognize a problem before you can fix it. Plus, there is not much of a story if it is all puppy dogs, rainbows and happily ever afters.
There are moments of clarity and content that show how I overcame misfortune. How I have finally found peace in an often uncaring world, with plant medicines being one of the key components to finding said peace. Hallucinogens oftentimes make ordinary things appear more beautiful and tough things like exercise look more important to help sustain a beautiful life. I’m not so sure I would have followed through with daily exercises and meditation if it wasn’t for the insight I gained from hallucinogens. I have more mental clarity. I have been able to mentally navigate situations that many people would buckle under the pressure. I believe our growing and outrageous number of suicides in America would diminish if these substances were more readily available. They help some drug addicts kick their habit. Hell, one of the guys who founded Alcoholics Anonymous had reportedly had an acid trip and wanted to incorporate it into the organization.
The Cosmic Community
I appreciate Psychedelic Spotlight and other organizations like it for propping up the idea that psychedelics can benefit many people, and for people like me, for giving us a platform to express ourselves. If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, please come join me on Substack. Due to the nature of the subject matter, I go by the pen name A. Nobody. I’m hoping you’ll take this journey with me. Support your friendly neighborhood psychonaut.
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